5 Must Have's on Your Wedding Day

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! My family and I did not stick to tradition this year but our holiday was definitely enjoyable! While preparing for our New Year and New Decade celebration, I realized a post was long overdue. Today I will share five things a bride should have with her on her wedding day.

1. ) Sanitary supplies (napkins or tampons): Even if your cycle is not due, certain stressful conditions could bring on either spotting or even a full blown cycle. Let's hope you don't need it, but it's best to be prepared.

2.) Band-aids: Yes, you may not have had to use them very frequently since your childhood, but again, it is best to be on the side of caution. A long day ensues and mishaps do happen. Even if you don't need them, someone else may find themselves in need and who really carries band- aids with them all the time?

3.) Breath-mints: You will in close contact with a lot of people on your wedding day. A lot of people will be hugging and kissing you, make sure your breath smells fresh all day long!

4.) Snacks: Yes, there will be food at the reception but ... the time between you waking up, getting ready, getting married and dinner being served at the reception is long. True, the time will fly by, but while it's flying by, you will be busy, being tugged in this direction and that direction and may not find the time to sit down and enjoy a meal. With all the activity, your metabolism will be working just that much faster and you will get hungry, trust me. In case the day begins to slip away from you and you find yourself famished, keep a snack near you during the day. Trail mix or an energy bar are good filling choices.

5.) Sewing kit (or at least some safety pins): Just in case there is a burst or bulge that occurs during the day, have a sewing kit on hand to mend anything that may need mending. If you aren't handy with a needle and thread and there is no one on your team whom is, consider bringing along some safety pins.

If you hire a wedding planner, they should be equipped with a fully stocked emergency kit, thereby making sure the things listed above are handy as well as a host of other things. Also, if you hire a wedding planner your chances of needing anything from the emergency kit become drastically reduced.

If you are in need of a wedding planner, contact 4 Wed Joy at 1-877-4-Wed-Joy for a complimentary consultation and together we will see if we are a compatible match. Your wedding day deserves special attention and your wedding planner should be someone you feel comfortable with, after all, this is someone you will be working closely with for the next several months.

Written by: Carla McCurthon

A budget for engaged couples

by Crown Financial Ministries

Because finances have tremendous potential to create either harmony or conflict in a marriage, engaged couples need to prepare their budgets both individually and together to demonstrate before marriage that they can live on their income. Couples who decide not to budget usually end up trusting credit instead of trusting God.

Engaged couples should talk about credit cards and how to handle them. They should agree to cut up the cards and never use them again the first time they are unable to pay the full balance at the end of the month. They should talk about savings. Usually, one will want to save and the other will want to spend, so engaged couples need to set boundaries before they marry. They will need to decide what type of insurance and how much they will need. They should talk about whether the wife will work after having children, and if not they should prepare early to live on only one salary.

If an engaged couple can't agree on money issues before marriage, they may need to postpone their marriage until they can. In the Articles section of our Web site under Pamphlets, is the online pamphlet, “Before You Say I Do”. Using this pamphlet as a springboard for discussion, engaged couples can start working through important financial issues. At some point they may want to talk about buying a home, but there are so many big decisions and adjustments early in a couple’s life together that we encourage newlyweds to rent for the first year of their marriage.
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The sales portion of this article (the last two paragraphs) have been omitted as they were a sales pitch to engaged couples to purchase books and tools to help them plan their finances. If you are interested in these materials, please visit: Crown Financial Ministries.

Seated or Buffet? The answer is shocking!

Many couples wonder if they should have a seated or buffet dinner at their receptions. Many wedding planners and caterers will say that buffet is less expensive. They say this because the type of food served at a buffet usually is of a lesser caliber than the food served at a seated and plated dinner. The lesser quality food is actually less expensive - seemingly but, I have shocking news. Buffet is not less expensive than seated and plated, but rather, seated is actually cheaper! Wow, did that shock you? Let me tell you why.

When you have a buffet meal, the guests are preparing their own plates. They have stood in a line and are hungry and probably a bit crabby because they had to stand in a line to get their food. They pile the food onto their plates for more than one reason. One reason guests pile the food onto their plates is because they are expecting they will eat all that food. They want to have their seconds, and thirds all on their plate to avoid standing in line again and just in case the food runs out (because they can't be certain that it won't). They also pile food onto their plates in anticipation that the food will be simply scrumptious.

You can curtail this by having servers at the buffet line to dish the food onto the plates with explicit instruction as to how much of each item to put on each plate, but then it's up to the server to adhere to your directives. But, here's the thing, even if they do follow your instructions, the food has already been prepared and yes, you will still have to pay for it. Therefore, if the food is not actually consumed at the reception, you will have excess food when the reception is over that you will have to either give away or take home. Now, how does this make buffet more expensive? It makes it more expensive because the caterers know that when there is a buffet dinner, the guests get greedy and their eyes get larger than their stomachs. The caterers know this and prepare extra food for this occurrence, and yes, you are paying for all this excess. So in reality, when you give your caterer your final headcount, the caterer figures in the amount of excess they will need to prepare, and you get charged accordingly.

Now, with seated and plated meals, all the food is actually prepared for the exact number of people on the list (and yes, you should feed your vendors the same thing you feed your guests). You will have waiters, but you don't need a lot of them to have an elegant affair. The portions of food the guests receive is predetermined and actually a lot smaller than if the guests were given free range at the buffet table.

Oh, but are you worried that with the lesser amount of food served, your guest will not get full? No worries. When you have a seated meal, there are various courses that are served to the guests. When a guest is finished with one course, they have to wait until a specific predetermined time until the next course is served. This lag time in between courses allows the body to start digesting the food and allows the guests' metabolism to begin working. This results in the guests getting fuller much quicker. A person who eats slowly usually eats less and gets full faster than a person who wolfs their food down and seemingly never gets full.

So which is less expensive? Seated or buffet? Now you know!

Written by: Carla McCurthon

Traditional Wedding Reigistry Items

Registry Mayhem! Where to Start, What to Do? Part I

For the couple who is just starting out and perhaps moving into their own home immediately after the wedding and honeymoon, the most common registry gifts are kitchen items, and there are a lot of things to register for in this area. There are also bedroom items, bathroom and traveling necessities such as luggage. The next few articles will outline many things to consider registering for and is intended for couples who are just starting out and do not already live together. If you end up with even half of the stuff on the lists to follow, you will be saved the expense of many household necessities minus the furniture. Furniture is not going to be included on the lists.

For the couple that has everything or has no need for household items, consider registering for a honeymoon package guests can contribute towards via a travel agent or online service. 4 Wed Joy is a travel agency as well and can help with your honeymoon needs. If the honeymoon is taken care of already, consider a luxury item that would enrich the quality of your lives, such as a boat or plane. Additional articles will follow which will be designed to help couples who have everything they can think of, figure out what to ask for in their wedding registry.

Be a blessing and be blessed!

Written by: Carla McCurthon

Children at Weddings - “Arrgh!?” Terrible or Terrific?

Children are of course wonderful little people. The question you may have is whether or not you want to have them at your wedding. If you have children already you will probably want to have them in the wedding and if you have close family members with children there are ways to incorporate each of them in a way where they will all feel important on the wedding day. I am not going to go into the reasons you may have for not wanting them there, but rather point out some ways to include them without bringing down the party.

If you are having your children in the wedding think of this, do you want your children to be the only children there? Once the ceremony is over, would they enjoy the day being the only children present? One option I tell my brides is to consider having children at the ceremony, and the beginning of the reception, with childcare being provided in an adjacent room for the latter part of the reception. This allows the children to enjoy the day, eat a “fancy” dinner and dance a little in their formalwear… these make for great pictures and memories. When the day begins to wean and before the little ones become restless they can adjourn to the childcare area, equipped with both a sleeping and play area. Snacks of course will have to be provided as well as a separate lavatory for their use. Having a childcare area will allow for the adults to party and the children to interact with their peers and go to sleep at a reasonable time, without forcing their parents to leave early. Your guests will thank you for the childcare area. If there are teenagers that will be present at your wedding you may solicit them to supervise the childcare area for a small fee. If you forgo this option and opt for a more professional childcare arena, the costs will not break the bank, just think of how much baby-sitters go for in your area and account for the hours you need service as well as the amount of children - hence the number of providers you will need. The final costs will be dependent on you and/or your wedding planner’s negotiating skills. Some wedding planners have assistants that provide a childcare service for a small fee (or perhaps it is included in your wedding planning package). Your wedding planner will be able to assist you with formalizing and finalizing the details of the childcare area. If you decide against hiring a wedding planner, the reception site event coordinator will be able to assist you. This is a topic you will have to put on the table because many coordinators will not offer this without first being prompted.

If you decide to have children attend your day’s festivities it would be a nice touch to give each of them a small gift. As a wedding planner, I make it a point to discuss with each child their duties and promise them an age appropriate gift if they will try their hardest to do as they were told, this incentive helps a lot. I actually give the gifts regardless of their performance but it is an incentive. This may seem manipulative, but it works wonders!

Children who are not in the wedding can be utilized in many ways, one of which is handing out the programs to guests, allowing some of the older ones perform as ushers, and having some of the younger ones hand out water bottles (if an outdoor event). There are many ways to incorporate children that will keep them busy, the idea is to be creative. You may decide to even have the children form together to sing a special song during the ceremony. You may decide to have the children who assist sit in a special section or you may prefer them to sit with their parents (younger children should sit with an adult or older relative such as a sibling, aunt or grandparent). One thing to remember is to include these children in your ceremony program, it will certainly boost their morale when they see their names in print for helping you!

So, of course the decision is yours, but I hope I shed a little light on the topic and gave you a bit to think about in regards of whether you want to invite children to your wedding. Happy days!

Written by: Carla McCurthon

Calling All Vendors! Where to Start?

When embarking on planning a wedding, many brides get flustered when it comes to not only selecting appropriate vendors, but also wade messily through the timeliness of when they contract with them. I will help clear some of the fog and shine a beckon of light on when to select and contract with which vendors. Mainly, the order of importance of each vendor and how far in advance you should book each vendor.

Booking vendors is time consuming but oh so much fun! You may want to dedicate a few days for the selection of each vendor unless you already know exactly who you want to contract with for particular duties. Don’t procrastinate on securing your vendors, once you begin the process stay focused and get through them all. If you handle this in the beginning stages of planning your wedding you will have more time and peace of mind later to handle other aspects of the wedding planning.

- *Quick tip for those on a budget who want a fabulous wedding:

When booking vendors, a deposit will be required, and you may want to save for a few months before going on your booking spree in order to assure you have the required funds necessary to book the vendors you desire. This means you may get engaged 6 months before you begin booking vendors for one year in advance, putting your wedding date about 1 and a half years away.

Book the following about a year before the wedding - or as soon as possible if your wedding is impending:

1) If you are going to hire a wedding planner and will want her to help plan your proposal, engagement party and engagement announcement, she will be the first person you will want to contract with.

2) Your wedding officiant will be the second person you want to contract with if you are hiring a wedding planner, if not they will be the first. You will need to secure your wedding date in order to properly contract with any other vendors.

3) Deciding upon and securing the ceremony site and reception sites are also some of the first things you need to do. Dependent upon which site you select you may be faced with limitations in some aesthetic elements of the wedding. Some sites prohibit throwing of rice, and even rose petals, others prohibit flash photography and the releasing of doves. Some sites require you to use their caterer and other staff members. If you decide upon a place and are facing limitations you will need to decide which elements of the wedding you are willing to forgo or decide upon another location. The ceremony and reception site should be booked soon after you have selected a wedding date, especially if you are after high-end venues because they book well in advance.

4) The photographer is also a vendor that books well in advance and they should be consulted as soon as possible.

5) Next, you should focus on securing your band or disc jockey for the reception. Exceptional bands book well in advance and the competition for them is fierce. Due to the fact that disc jockeys and bands perform for more than merely weddings they are sought after by the masses for other types of events and occasions.

6) Hiring the caterer is the next order of business. Superb caterers also book well in advance and you should hire them about one year before the wedding. This gives you time to attend tastings and select your exact menu.

7) Videographers also book in advance. You may want to ask your photographer whom they recommend.

8) Bakers (cake makers) who specialize in making custom and elaborate cakes that actually taste scrumptious are not a dime a dozen and you will want to secure your baker at this point. You do not need to have an exact idea of what you are looking for them to make at the time of the booking, you can figure that out as your wedding begins to come together and you have a more concrete idea of the theme and style of your wedding.

9) Hairstylists to do the hair of the bride and bridal party typically do between one and two weddings per day dependent on the time of wedding, therefore they do book in advance. You can use your regular hairstylist or you may opt for a hairstylist who specializes in wedding hairstyles. You may have an idea of how you will wear your hair on your special day, but you may change your mind once you have your dress. Your specialized hairstylist will be able to look at your face, your dress and make magic with your hair that will complement both. The exact style is not needed to know when you book your stylist, but you must do this in advance if you want to hire a specialist.

10) Transportation is another element. You will need to decide how you wish to arrive and depart the wedding. If you are going to go by way of limousine, a specialty limousine, a carriage, a special car, etc. Once you have decided upon the way you wish to travel, you will need to reserve your day and times of requirement.

11) The invitation designer and calligrapher can be selected as far in advance as you wish, but you will want your invitations completed about 3 months in advance of the wedding, this gives you time to review them for errors and have any revisions done if necessary. You will want to send your invitations out 8 weeks in advance with your RSVP date being 4 weeks before the wedding.

12) The ceremony musicians can be booked well in advance along with the others if you are looking at having some elite performer or you can wait until a few months before the wedding. I recommend getting all the bookings done early to save the few months before the wedding to other details.

13) Make-up artist to do the make-up of the bridal party for the wedding day.

14) Rentals such as tables, chairs, tents, etc. are usually easy to come by dependant upon the location of your wedding but booking in advance assures the selection you desire on the date you need them will be available.

The idea is, not to save any of these things until the last minute despite how easy you may think it will be to secure them only a few months or weeks in advance. Accurate planning minimizes surprises and risks.

Written by: Carla McCurthon

The Trick to RSVP's

I am a wedding planner and I plan both long-distance and local weddings. Recently, a bride of mine, for whom I am planning a long-distance wedding, had a question regarding her RSVP's. She was wondering how to limit the number of guests each of her invitees would bring. Her concern was that single people would bring dates, friends and/or children that she had not planned to feed. I explained it to her, as I will to you.

Some RSVP card's have the word "Guest(s)" with a line next to the word. If you have a concern like my bride did, this is the kind of RSVP card you will want to send. On the line next to “Guest(s)”, you would write the number of guests that particular invitee is allowed to bring, do not leave this line blank and allow your guest to fill it in themselves unless you are purposely leaving that decision up to them. Being wise in this area will cut your expenses in the long-run..... it WILL save you money and it will keep your guest list at the level you are comfortable with.

In addition to manipulating your guest list with your RSVP cards, it is important to know how to cross-reference the RSVP cards sent out with your guest list. When you have finalized your guest list and are preparing to send out your invitations, number the list, assigning each invitation you are sending out a number. Write the corresponding number in small print on the back of the RSVP card and make certain you slip that RSVP card into the correct addressed envelope. When the RSVP cards come back in pre-addressed and stamped envelopes, you are assured to know who has returned their RSVP cards. This is of course in case you do not write their names on the RSVP card and they, given the responsibility, neglect that duty.

These tips will help ensure your guest list stays organized. RSVP cards are a key factor in determining your wedding guest list as well as to help finalize your budget. Stick to these pointers and make your last minute planning a bit easier.

Written by: Carla McCurthon